Yesterday I found myself back in Saint Luke’s emergency department being asked what day it was. An hour before I had stepped into the shower at 24 Hour Fitness over on Clayton, I had just finished my noon hour workout. I try to force myself to the gym at least four times a week. It’s one of my many delusional projects. I’ve always wanted the lithe, lean muscular body of Spider Man but since I cannot cling to walls I’ve never managed the trick. As I stepped into the shower I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, it was a good pre-vomit feeling, I briefly thought about sitting down but then I stepped into the hot water and then … the next thing I remember … I was lying on my back on the shower floor with a few nude guys looking down at me. A guy off to my side said, “you were out for bit,” another added, “you hit your head when you fell.” Apparently, if the news could be believed, I had fallen out of the shower stall on my back. I couldn’t remember a thing. I had passed out in the freaking shower! My first thought, “oh goody one concussion coming up,” I oddly didn’t care about my naked body inelegantly sprawled over harsh shower floor tiles for all to admire. See you can get over gym shower shyness.
Of course this alarmed the gym staff, we live in a litigious, sue on the drop of — in this case my body — age. They dutifully took notes and advised me to ride the ambulance to emergency. “It wouldn’t be a good idea to drive away and pass out on the highway.” They had me there! The EMT guys arrived, strapped me up to an electrocardiogram, started an IV and then hauled my ass over to Saint Luke’s where I am almost on first name basis with the staff. One of the nurses said, “I remember you, weren’t you the guy that tore his quadriceps?” I enjoy being recognized if only it was somewhere other than emergency. Emergency staff plugged me into electric doo-dads, drew my blood, measured my oxygen levels measured and shined lights into my eyes. An earnest and very nice resident carefully interviewed me and declared I had experienced a syncopal episode. Google it, it doesn’t sound good, I may be a dead man walking or I could have just overdone it at the gym. Time will certainly tell.