I write my Congresswoman about Syria

I just emailed this to my Congresswoman, Ann Wagner, 2nd district Missouri. I’m going to make sure I’m on the NSA’s naughty malcontent list.

Dear Ann,

Your summer vacation from Congress is coming to an end. Soon you will be back in Washington dealing with little problems like: runaway deficit financing, relentless FED driven currency debasement, rampant illegal immigration, and finally, what to do about Syria.

You’re probably surprised that the Obama administration punted on Syria and threw you this hand grenade. By now you’ve noticed that the Light-Bringer’s administration only goes to Congress to steal or print more money, (debit limit), ram through hideous partisan, “have to pass it to find out what’s in it,” bills, (Obamacare), or get begrudging constitutionally mandated approval for political appointee hacks. Of course Obama despises Congress. It’s the most American thing about him.

Ann, you’re from Missouri, so you probably know that Missouri’s most famous native son, Mark Twain, maintained a complete and robust contempt for your institution.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

No one has characterized the simpering idiocy of Congress better. Mark did not suffer fools well and he certainly wasn’t naive or stupid enough to believe his congressman, or congresswoman, actually represented him.

Ann, I’m afraid I share Mark’s bleak view, but just for the sake of argument, let’s assume you do represent me. I did vote for you. And, as I recall, I didn’t have to hold my nose or look down ballot for my default, “anyone but that shithead,” option. I actually felt you were the best person for the job. That you’ve kept out of the news, no sex scandals, no outrageous pork projects, no hysterical CSPAN fits, no public bitch slapping, and no DUIs1 makes me think you’re actually a decent human being even though you associate with known felons.

Well as one decent human being to another I am asking you to vote no on any motion that authorizes the use of force in Syria.

I’d bet that I know far more about the Middle East than you or the vast majority of your peers in Congress. I lived in Iran and Lebanon. I was evacuated from Beirut during the 1967 Arab Israeli War. I’m married to an Iranian refugee. She had to flee her native country after protesting Khomeini’s thugs in the early 1980’s. The Middle East is not a TV reality show for me. When I hear of bombs falling in the Beqaa valley I think about how I camped down the road.

When I say there are no good options in Syria I am not running off teleprompter. On one side you have Assad’s Ba’athist criminals: essentially modern Nazis. That delusional dolts like your colleague, Nancy Pelosi, thought Assad was a reformer is partly why we think you’re all morons. Opposing Assad is a rag-tag coalition of rebels, Islamists and crazy cannibal Jihadists. This is a war that both sides deserve to lose. Firing a few cruise missiles into this mess is not going to alter the outcome or elevate the world’s low opinion of Americans. All it will do is add more legions of US hating Middle Easterners to what’s already a vast throng.

Ann, how would you feel if some inept clueless foreign power lobbed a few drone missiles into Saint Louis neighborhoods because they objected to local law enforcement? I’m pretty sure you’d be livid: boiling with incandescent rage. Imagine how your mood will improve when you learn the attack was calibrated to avoid mockery. Would you feel a new-found respect for the bombers? I’m guessing your new life’s work would be striking back. This is what our remote control war is doing. It’s creating far more enemies than it kills.

Ann, do you really want to be a part of this? What we are doing is catastrophically stupid and has to stop. Vote no on Syria.

Respectfully, I’m not kidding, yours

John Baker Saint Louis County


  1. We set a very low bar for Congress.

I did not have sex with that Oil Spill!

bp-oil-shoresI would like to thank BP for accidently creating a teachable moment for our political class.  Prior to the gulf cluster-fuck the most ethical congress in history did not know that fluid dynamics is one of the hardest of the hard sciences.  But, after two months of heroic attempts to contain the spill with blame games, bribes, threats, legislative initiatives and golf it’s finally dawning on the powerful minds that rule us that fluids cannot be bought-off, community-organized, press-marginalized or change-the-channel ignored.  Reality is such an unfair bitch.

Last night, sensing a disturbance in the zeitgeist, Obama subjected our nation to a rousing I did not have sex with that oil spill speech.  The One’s words soared but we, the little unworthy peons, were as unmoved as oil soaked pelicans.  Even our Obamabot leg tinglers failed to detect executive command.

I wish I could say I am disappointed but I wrote this government off a longtime ago.  The stark fiscal, technical and rhetorical incompetence they display every day is no more surprising than sunshine.  The oil spill is an infuriating accidental disaster but it’s not the biggest spill confronting us.  That would be our insane, reckless and entirely man caused deficit spending.

Let’s do some arithmetic.  Let’s assume the unhinged moonbats turned reservoir engineers have pulled the correct gulf spill rate of 100,000 barrels/day out of their asses.  Let’s also assume an oil price of $80 dollars/barrel. When you multiply everything together you find that

8000000 =  1e5 * 80

eight millions dollars of oil is spilling into the gulf every day.  Sounds bad.  Let’s compare that to our government’s fiscal spill.  The deficit for this fiscal year is expected to approach 1.3 trillion dollars.   This works out to

3.56164384e9 = 1.3e12 % 365

roughly 3.6 billion dollars/day or 445 times the gulf spill rate!  If I could plug only one damn hole I know which one I’d choose!