Eons ago, upon learning that Barak Obama, aka the Magic Lightbringer, had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for doing sweet diddly-squat, I rightfully concluded that the Nobel Peace Prize had completed its long embarrassing journey to absolute irrelevance. I opined that frivolous Canadian Idol awards meant more because at least Idol recipients had to … Continue reading Oscars Now as Meaningless as Nobel Peace Prizes
How do you check your vote? It’s a simple question with a simple disturbing answer. You cannot check your vote! And when I say “you” I mean you. I don’t mean the system, the authorities, electoral officials, foreign auditors, or any third party. I mean you - just you. There isn’t an electoral system on … Continue reading How Do You Check Your Vote?
The kids at GitHub have tested positive for Mad Woke Disease (MWD) - again! The last outbreak was over codes of conduct this time it’s about naming Git repository master branches! If you’re wondering what’s a Git master branch and why infantile wokesters are acting out I envy you. Perhaps you should stop reading now. … Continue reading GitHub’s Silly Master Plan
Intelligible systems are built on a few basic principles.1 While reducing my dour skepticism to the memorable maxims that codify Informed Naked Ape Protocol I repeatedly asked myself what animates unflagging skepticism? What turns naturally cheerful and optimistic people like myself into raging cynics? What motivates noble trolls to put down the pizza and grab … Continue reading iNap #1: Enough People are Scum
Many think we are living in a golden age of bullshit. That public discourse has never been gaudier or more demeaning. That respect for truth and decency has reached all-time lows. The mental pygmies that hold these opinions don't read or think for themselves. Deceiving ourselves and others is the one thing our species excels … Continue reading Informed Naked Ape Protocol
It’s 2018. 2018 has prime factors of 2 and 1009, e.g. 2018 = 2 * 1009. Did anything happen in the years 2 and 1009? In the year 2 Venus and Jupiter were in conjunction. Some speculate this may have been the “Star of Bethlehem.”In 1009 the Church of Holy Sepulcher was destroyed. How odd, … Continue reading Government Shutdown and Rapture 2018
Dear Apple Pay stop harassing me! I will never sign up for you and no amount of iOS app-nagging will change that. You’re pathetic interruptions merely remind me why I “resist” installing every freaking iOS upgrade the Apple mothership foists on its hapless phone users. I use an iPhone1 but I am not a member … Continue reading Dear Apple Pay Stop Harassing Me!
It’s been almost a week since the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay massacre and the idiot media is still looking for “a motive.” They remind me of O.J.’s fruitless search for the “real killer.” I don’t watch the alphabets, except when trapped in airports or, with increasing annoyance, in my employer’s cafeteria so I’ve missed days … Continue reading The Mass Kill as Performance Art
If you have the misfortune of dealing with US Fuckancial orifice Insertions (Financial Institutions) you’ve probably heard of the Equifax hack. Equifax is one of three large companies in the US that collect, without your explicit approval, personal credit information to compute credit scores. Your credit score is a single number that allegedly measures how … Continue reading EquiFucked
I don't pay for newspapers anymore and neither should you. The dead tree media is truly and absolutely dead. It serves no function in the modern world and like the What Happened Hildabeast, it needs to FOAD. The collapse of print media and the incontinent wailing of unemployed political operatives with bylines has been duly … Continue reading Stop Writing Dead Tree Letters to the Editor