Argentina or Australia

We’re planning a major trip for the fourth quarter of 2013. It’s been over a decade since my wife and I last sojourned beyond North America so this year we’re going to spend a few dollars, before the Obama economy reduces them to useless paper, and see more of the world. Two countries have long topped my must visit list: Argentina and Australia. I’m attracted to each for different reasons. We would like to visit both but resource constraints mandate one. So I thought I would ask you, dear readers, to help us make up our minds.

In Australia’s favor, it’s a large English-speaking country inhabited with unique flora and fauna. Who doesn’t want to see many marauding marsupials?1 Visiting Australia would let me tick off another continent leaving one, Antarctica, to visit. I know getting around the country would be like a North American road trip and culture shock would be limited or non-existent. From the outside Australia seems like a warmer, drier and less polite2 version of Canada sans Quebec.

Spanish-speaking Argentina presents a few more cultural barriers, but in Argentina’s favor, it has the highest mountain in both Americas, shares one of the greatest waterfalls on Earth, sports a great new world city, Buenos Aires, and is populated with people who have limited respect for their government. Disdain for the ruling class: it’s a sure sign of an enlightened people.

On the basis of current events this is a no-brainer; Australia easily wins. Australia, like Canada, is a relatively competent and safe democratic state. But, on a darker note, and just like Canada, Australia is overrun with prattling lefties on the government’s payroll. I see no serious ideological differences between the CBC and the ABC. Australia, like Canada, still supports the anachronistic British crown, but in their favor, they’re on the republican edge and if Chuck, the idiot, becomes king they may finally cross over to the dark side.

Argentina’s recent past is problematic. They provoked and lost a stupid Falkland sheep pasture war. They alternate between clueless Peronista cronies and second-rate fascists. You know your government is pathetic when Madonna makes musicals about it. The current Kirchner government is hopeless and is wrecking the country’s finances at Zimbabwean speed. This is all bad, but taking a contrarian tack, Argentines have already been there done that. When currency collapses and defaults are regular events people plan for them. Argentines have much to teach the world when it comes to ignoring, working around, and sabotaging the designs of our delusional masters. They know their government is incompetent, sometimes dangerous, and not be trusted — especially with money. In this regard they’re light years ahead of Americans.3 Such chaos would scare off tourists in many parts of the world but nobody is raising red flags about Argentina; it’s not Gaza or even, post Arab spring, Egypt.

So where should we go? We promise to weigh any hints or suggestions you leave. Click the following link for the first ever Analyze the Data not the Drivel poll.

Should we visit Argentina or Australia?


  1. Here in Missouri we often find dead opossums, members of the sole North American order of marsupials, on our highways.
  2. Canadians are too polite. Assholes won’t learn if you don’t call them assholes.
  3. Don’t worry, The One’s inept regime is educating large numbers of Americans on the dangers of out-of-control finances. Soon Americans will join more enlightened nationalities, like Mexicans, in their contempt for government.