Argentina or Australia

We’re planning a major trip for the fourth quarter of 2013. It’s been over a decade since my wife and I last sojourned beyond North America so this year we’re going to spend a few dollars, before the Obama economy reduces them to useless paper, and see more of the world. Two countries have long topped my must visit list: Argentina and Australia. I’m attracted to each for different reasons. We would like to visit both but resource constraints mandate one. So I thought I would ask you, dear readers, to help us make up our minds.

In Australia’s favor, it’s a large English-speaking country inhabited with unique flora and fauna. Who doesn’t want to see many marauding marsupials?1 Visiting Australia would let me tick off another continent leaving one, Antarctica, to visit. I know getting around the country would be like a North American road trip and culture shock would be limited or non-existent. From the outside Australia seems like a warmer, drier and less polite2 version of Canada sans Quebec.

Spanish-speaking Argentina presents a few more cultural barriers, but in Argentina’s favor, it has the highest mountain in both Americas, shares one of the greatest waterfalls on Earth, sports a great new world city, Buenos Aires, and is populated with people who have limited respect for their government. Disdain for the ruling class: it’s a sure sign of an enlightened people.

On the basis of current events this is a no-brainer; Australia easily wins. Australia, like Canada, is a relatively competent and safe democratic state. But, on a darker note, and just like Canada, Australia is overrun with prattling lefties on the government’s payroll. I see no serious ideological differences between the CBC and the ABC. Australia, like Canada, still supports the anachronistic British crown, but in their favor, they’re on the republican edge and if Chuck, the idiot, becomes king they may finally cross over to the dark side.

Argentina’s recent past is problematic. They provoked and lost a stupid Falkland sheep pasture war. They alternate between clueless Peronista cronies and second-rate fascists. You know your government is pathetic when Madonna makes musicals about it. The current Kirchner government is hopeless and is wrecking the country’s finances at Zimbabwean speed. This is all bad, but taking a contrarian tack, Argentines have already been there done that. When currency collapses and defaults are regular events people plan for them. Argentines have much to teach the world when it comes to ignoring, working around, and sabotaging the designs of our delusional masters. They know their government is incompetent, sometimes dangerous, and not be trusted — especially with money. In this regard they’re light years ahead of Americans.3 Such chaos would scare off tourists in many parts of the world but nobody is raising red flags about Argentina; it’s not Gaza or even, post Arab spring, Egypt.

So where should we go? We promise to weigh any hints or suggestions you leave. Click the following link for the first ever Analyze the Data not the Drivel poll.

Should we visit Argentina or Australia?


  1. Here in Missouri we often find dead opossums, members of the sole North American order of marsupials, on our highways.
  2. Canadians are too polite. Assholes won’t learn if you don’t call them assholes.
  3. Don’t worry, The One’s inept regime is educating large numbers of Americans on the dangers of out-of-control finances. Soon Americans will join more enlightened nationalities, like Mexicans, in their contempt for government.

5 thoughts on “Argentina or Australia

  1. John, as an Australian … I’d welcome your visit to our country! From your write up, you have a pretty clear indication of what Australia is like. You did forget to mention Australia’s preoccupation with sport rather than the arts, and how our economy is almost completely dependent on China’s need for our mining industry. It also needs to be mentioned that many of the ‘ marauding marsupials’ end up as road kill.
    I am on the Govt payroll, and while I am always keen to make a dollar or two, I am a leftie!! but I rarely prattle. Australia would have left the bossom of the Monarch at the last referendum if wasn’t so poorly worded … but that’s another story.
    I say come on down John. If you need some free advice on where to go and where to avoid, I’ll happily put my head on the chopping block and give you a suggestion or two.

  2. You do make a good case. I was aware of Australia’s large raw material exports to China. Your country is well situated to take advantage of that opportunity. Your comment about how your referendum would have gone the other way with better wording is interesting. As a dual US/Canadian national I find the attachment to the crown more amusing than outrageous. To me, the royals are celebrities that cannot act. In the crown’s favor they’re costing less than our ridiculous imperial presidency these days. If I am ever elected head of any land the first thing I’ll do is cut out the parties, the unnecessary travel, the palace guards and so on and try living just like everyone else. If our enlightened leaders ever gave this a try they might find the peons more receptive to whatever comes out of their mouths. As for marsupial roadkill. Smashing into full grown kangaroos must lead to lots of insurance claims.

  3. When you come for your visit John, if you are driving early morning or evenings outside of city limits, INSURANCE IS A MUST!
    I don’t mind the Royals, I have always considered them a bunch of inbreds without a job living off the poverty of England.
    The referendum asked, not only if you wanted to drop the Monarchy, but what alternative you would prefer. As we have manditory voting, the average person wasn’t sure what they were being asked, so they voted “no change”, always a safe option!
    I have always watched with interest the way you guys look after your president. In Australia, we would address our Prime Minster by her first name. I meet Bob Hawk once at the races … shock his hand and said “G’Day Bob!”, he replied “G’Day son, having a good day?”. We have a much more relaxed approach I think.
    Let me know how you go with your planning John.
    Cheers

    • Mandatory voting is interesting. How do you administer it? I presume there is some way to identify voters and there is some penalty for not voting.

      • Everyone has to register to vote when they turn 18. When you move house, you need to notify of change of address. Come voting day, you turn up, they mark you off the roll as having voted and away you go. You will be fined if you fail to vote without valid reason. You must vote in Federal, State and Local government elections, and they are all held at different times.

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