Sorry PBS you already have my Money

PBS beg-a-thonPBS is begging for money again. PBS is a US public broadcasting network. Like all public English language broadcasters, (CBC Canada, ABC Australia, BBC UK), PBS is filled with tiresome left wingers that do not see themselves as left wingers. It’s still easy to find disingenuous tools in these intuitions that publicly declare they’re bias free.

Really?

There’s nothing but biased broadcasting! The only remotely objective broadcasting is weather forecasting and even that’s often ruined by climate change hysterics. Right wingers are equally biased but they’re generally more aware of it. Not because they’re richer, taller, better educated and more handsome than left wingers but simply because they’re exposed to non-stop derision and mockery. If you seek balanced budgets you’re obviously a racist, baby killing, privileged white male. It’s only logical. My answer to insufferable bias is to change the channel or click elsewhere which brings me back to PBS.

FOX News haters have the option of not watching and not paying for FOX News. PBS, CBC, ABC & BBC haters have the option of not watching and paying for PBS, CBC, ABC & BBC. Do you see the logical asymmetry? There’s a missing not when it comes to public broadcasters. We are not given a choice when it comes to paying for their crap. Lack of choice has another name: coercion. Just try not paying for PBS, CBC, ABC & BBC and see what happens? At some point an oppressive and utterly thuggish national taxation authority will come down on your racist, baby killing, privileged white male head.

Lefties don’t see a problem here. What’s the big deal? We have elections and vote in legislatures that pass laws that we, as members of representative democracies, approve of. Some of these laws fund stuff we don’t like. As a card-carrying lefty I detest military spending and corporate tax breaks but you don’t see me going on about it.

Really?

I can trump your lefty love of democracy by demanding more it. How about public democratic line item budgeting? I would be absolutely delighted if our duly elected legislatures presented us with a long list of proposed government expenses and then charged us with voting, line by line, for what we like and don’t like. Lefties could democratically vote down military and corporate taxes. Righties could democratically vote down PBS and foreign aid. Any measure commanding majority support gets funded and everything else gets dropped! I suspect, if presented with such a list, we’d very quickly come to our financial senses but what are the chances such a list will ever be presented to citizens of the US, Canada, Australia or any other freaking country? Snowballs in Hell get better odds.

So what’s a fiscally sane person to do when besieged with the plaintive cries of partially publicly funded entities begging for more cash? Sorry PBS – you’ve already picked my pockets. Coerced charity is not charity. Until you’re completely weaned from the government teat you will never get another dime from this racist, baby killing, privileged white male.

I write my Congresswoman about Syria

I just emailed this to my Congresswoman, Ann Wagner, 2nd district Missouri. I’m going to make sure I’m on the NSA’s naughty malcontent list.

Dear Ann,

Your summer vacation from Congress is coming to an end. Soon you will be back in Washington dealing with little problems like: runaway deficit financing, relentless FED driven currency debasement, rampant illegal immigration, and finally, what to do about Syria.

You’re probably surprised that the Obama administration punted on Syria and threw you this hand grenade. By now you’ve noticed that the Light-Bringer’s administration only goes to Congress to steal or print more money, (debit limit), ram through hideous partisan, “have to pass it to find out what’s in it,” bills, (Obamacare), or get begrudging constitutionally mandated approval for political appointee hacks. Of course Obama despises Congress. It’s the most American thing about him.

Ann, you’re from Missouri, so you probably know that Missouri’s most famous native son, Mark Twain, maintained a complete and robust contempt for your institution.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

No one has characterized the simpering idiocy of Congress better. Mark did not suffer fools well and he certainly wasn’t naive or stupid enough to believe his congressman, or congresswoman, actually represented him.

Ann, I’m afraid I share Mark’s bleak view, but just for the sake of argument, let’s assume you do represent me. I did vote for you. And, as I recall, I didn’t have to hold my nose or look down ballot for my default, “anyone but that shithead,” option. I actually felt you were the best person for the job. That you’ve kept out of the news, no sex scandals, no outrageous pork projects, no hysterical CSPAN fits, no public bitch slapping, and no DUIs1 makes me think you’re actually a decent human being even though you associate with known felons.

Well as one decent human being to another I am asking you to vote no on any motion that authorizes the use of force in Syria.

I’d bet that I know far more about the Middle East than you or the vast majority of your peers in Congress. I lived in Iran and Lebanon. I was evacuated from Beirut during the 1967 Arab Israeli War. I’m married to an Iranian refugee. She had to flee her native country after protesting Khomeini’s thugs in the early 1980’s. The Middle East is not a TV reality show for me. When I hear of bombs falling in the Beqaa valley I think about how I camped down the road.

When I say there are no good options in Syria I am not running off teleprompter. On one side you have Assad’s Ba’athist criminals: essentially modern Nazis. That delusional dolts like your colleague, Nancy Pelosi, thought Assad was a reformer is partly why we think you’re all morons. Opposing Assad is a rag-tag coalition of rebels, Islamists and crazy cannibal Jihadists. This is a war that both sides deserve to lose. Firing a few cruise missiles into this mess is not going to alter the outcome or elevate the world’s low opinion of Americans. All it will do is add more legions of US hating Middle Easterners to what’s already a vast throng.

Ann, how would you feel if some inept clueless foreign power lobbed a few drone missiles into Saint Louis neighborhoods because they objected to local law enforcement? I’m pretty sure you’d be livid: boiling with incandescent rage. Imagine how your mood will improve when you learn the attack was calibrated to avoid mockery. Would you feel a new-found respect for the bombers? I’m guessing your new life’s work would be striking back. This is what our remote control war is doing. It’s creating far more enemies than it kills.

Ann, do you really want to be a part of this? What we are doing is catastrophically stupid and has to stop. Vote no on Syria.

Respectfully, I’m not kidding, yours

John Baker Saint Louis County


  1. We set a very low bar for Congress.

Let’s Trade Constitutional Amendments

I’m a big fan of stark choices. Stark choices push trivialities aside, expose underlying problems and bring hidden motivations to light. There is nothing more satisfying than watching well nursed notions self-destruct when reduced to stark choices. Here’s a stark choice our corrupt ruling class will never put on ballots, or discuss, or dare mention.

We can continue riding our gun-toting financial train wreck or we can repeal the Second Amendment, the right to bear arms, and substitute a Balanced Budget Amendment in its place.

Citizens lose the right to bear arms and government loses the right to borrow and print money. To my tiny programmer brain this seems like a completely fair trade. The Second Amendment was never about creating a safe cozy society. It was all about safe-guarding liberty; it still is. Today, the biggest threat to the liberty of Americans is our own government. If it was cut down to a fiscally sustainable size the need for firearms, to shoot the bastards in DC, would dramatically subside and then all of us, left, right, up, down, top and strange could join hands for one big happy Kumbaya-a-thon.

Yeah I didn’t think so.

Still it’s fun to play these mind games. If by some miracle, and I’m talking Red Sea parting here, my amendment swap ever got serious consideration, it would be amusing to watch the partisan cockroaches1 run for cover.

For the left the primacy of the state is everything. Gun control is far more about control than it is about guns and public safety. Faced with the dramatic curtailment of largely wasteful government social programs, a logical consequence of balanced budgets, your typical lefty would happily accept one, two, three, maybe more kindergarten massacres per year to keep their beloved entitlements flowing.

As for the gun rights crowd: many of them clamor for balanced budgets but I suspect many would go all, “deficits don’t matter,” if they had to cough up their beloved 9mm pistols, sawed off shotguns and AR-15’s.

There is very little intellectual honesty or creativity on either side of this debate and I’m tired of it. If we don’t fall off the damn fiscal cliff I’m going push your dumb asses over it. Have a merry freaking Christmas and a less miserable New Year!


  1. My apologies to cockroaches. You are fine upstanding arthropods while political partisans barely reach the level of toxic waste.

Election Reflections

About the only surprise coming out of the recent US election was Puerto Rico’s foolish vote to seek statehood. People, you don’t board the Titanic after it has hit the iceberg. In time Puerto Ricans will learn what Quebec separatists have already painfully absorbed. If fence-sitting is your main tactic for extorting favors from larger entities stay on the goddamn fence. The minute you hop off the larger entity goes back to giving less than a crap about you. The new independent senator from Maine should pay attention. Nobody in the larger United States, or anywhere else for that matter, cares a whit about Maine. It only comes up in postcards featuring lighthouses. As a person from an even smaller state Montana, (yes tiny Maine has more people than Montana), I am not belittling you I’m merely pointing out that there aren’t enough of you to tip elections one way or the other so the political establishment will not, can not, and never will give a fresh firm shit unless you’re in position to extract favors. Sending a fence-sitter to the senate is smart politics but only if he stays on the fence! The people of Montana weren’t smart enough to elect an independent and reelected a garden variety Obama stooge. This only makes sense if you want to be ignored.

My Iranian born wife is a new American citizen and this was her first presidential election. She reliably cancelled my vote so the political establishment sucked a big goose egg out of our household. During the interminable election I kept reading about couples fighting about their partner’s choice. Some went so far as to “misplace” ballots and get snotty about driving each other to the polls. In my naive, brain-dead youth, I used to swallow, “think not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”, hogwash. I really felt that my relationship with my country was vitally important, certainly more important than a possibly temporary spouse. People get divorced all the time but their countries abide. Well, not really, I’m a dual citizen; my wife holds three citizenships. Countries matter but if you don’t value your wife or husband more than your country you’re either in a bad marriage or you’re a moron. In a few short years, when our runaway fiscal train finally jumps the rails and plunges into the abyss, a good spouse will be far more valuable than bankrupt government social programs. For lucky bastards like me that’s already the case.

Iranian Regime Justice is pathetic Sharia Savagery.

Yousef Nadarkhani

Yousef Nadarkhani

I rarely comment on the “news” but the planned execution of Yousef Nadarkhani for the make-believe crime of Islamic apostasy has really pissed me off. Once again the Iranian branch of the “religion of peace” shows its primitive, ass-backwards, subhuman side to a stunned world that finds it hard to believe that changing your mind about fictitious religious nonsense is punishable by death! It’s rubbish like this that turned me into a hardcore atheist. If this is Sharia then Sharia is shit!

Let’s be perfectly clear. I am not condemning Iranians. I am married to an Iranian!  I have many lovely Iranian in-laws, and not a single one of them approves of this atavistic assinity. Like civilized people everywhere their feelings alternate between disgust, shame and rage. While I forgive the Iranian people I condemn the Iranian regime. The government courts that imposed this sentence are pathetic throwbacks. They don’t belong in the modern world and one day they won’t.

Savages always assume they can bully and terrorize people forever. At first people are easily cowed but even the most egregious assaults fail to deter in the long run. The next time the Iranian masses take to the streets the regime will fall and with the exception of a few islaminals nobody is going to miss it!

P.S.  Before you go all brave fatwa waving kafir killing jihad warrior on me keep in mind that Missouri is a concealed carry state.

Debt Dolts Diddle and Drone!

Government Fiscal Policy

Well well it turns out that when John Boehner isn’t crying like a little girl he can deliver a speech. Tonight he smoked Obama like a fine cigar. I tried to flip around Obama’s debt limit rant but ended up watching like a gawker at a hospital fire.

Any dolt with a fifth graders grasp of arithmetic can see the US is completely and irrevocably broke! We’re in such a deep dark debt hole that we haven’t seen sunlight for eons. Financial rickets is setting in; the soft bones of the republic will soon need Viagra.

But don’t worry our elected pets have a plan! They’re going to borrow and print more money so we can wire up our deep dark dept hole with overpriced union-made lamps connected to a green, made in China, energy source. If the government’s math is right the lights should stay on long enough so we can all find our assholes and shove our heads up them!

The UN Space Treaty is Holding Us Back!

earthrise

Apollo Earthrise

2011 marks the 42’nd anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing.  42 idiot infested years have passed since that glorious day and nothing that has happened since comes within a nautical league of matching it.  My vile boomer generation has downplayed the significance of space exploration for decades.  I remember getting a shrill lecture from my left leaning fifth grade teacher about what a waste of money the space program was.  Being a self-assured child so I told my teacher he was preening unimaginative Neanderthal. This landed me in detention but I refused to apologize.

Manned space flight has been in a depressing, decades long, holding pattern. The real advances in space exploration have come exclusively from unmanned probes and robots.  While astronauts have been going round and round in that orbiting boondoggle known as the International Space Station the Voyagers are on the brink of interstellar space, probes are on their way to Pluto and Mercury, Cassini is orbiting Saturn, a small armada of orbiters and crawlers are exploring Mars, low-budget missions discovered water on the moon, space telescopes like Chandra, Hubble and Spitzer have shown us wonder after wonder and, capping it all off,  WMAP determined the age of the entire frigging universe.  Compare these awesome achievements to ISS astronauts unplugging zero-G toilets.

Why has so little been accomplished? I can think of two good reasons.

  1. Exclusive government control
  2. The UN Space Treaty

Until recently only governments could afford space programs.  In the early days of space exploration government control made sense but that era is coming to an end.  In a few decades private entities will be able to mount manned Mars expeditions and send robots anywhere in the solar system and beyond.  The technology is coming along nicely but I am afraid the politics will soon be a gigantic millstone around our necks. The millstone takes the form of the absurd UN Space Treaty.

800px-Outer_Space_Treaty

Green: UN Space Treaty nations

The UN space treaty is another sorry artifact of the 1960’s.   It reads like a bunch of unwashed socialist hippies got together and decided to ban capitalism in space. There is no other way to explain ridiculous terms like:

  1. The exploration and use of outer space shall be carried out for the benefit and in the interests of all countries and shall be the province of all mankind.
  2. Outer space is not subject to national appropriation by claim of sovereignty, by means of use or occupation, or by any other means.
  3. States shall be responsible for national space activities whether carried out by governmental or non-governmental activities.
  4. States shall be liable for damage caused by their space objects.
  5. States shall avoid harmful contamination of space and celestial bodies.

Suppose some daring entrepreneur decides to mount an asteroid mining expedition.  This is not as crazy as it sounds.  Asteroids are relatively easy to get to and very easy to get off of. They also contain mountains of valuable rare earths, platinum and gold. Eros alone holds well over 20 trillion dollars of metals.  You could pay off the US national debt by mining one dinky asteroid! One day, not very long from now, robot asteroid mining will make a compelling business case. To bad the UN Space Treaty outlaws it.

If you have to pay off all of mankind (#1, #2) your compelling business case evaporates.  Environmentalists, (yeah space environmentalists),  would complain that mining damages and contaminates a celestial body (#4, #5). Finally, even if the operation was 100% privately funded, various governments could legally ransom our daring entrepreneur or shut him down (#3).  These tactics have already been tried.  Remember the hysteria that preceded the launch of Cassini.  A pack of morons decided that the Plutonium powered RTG on Cassini posed a grave threat to all mankind and started citing the UN Space Treaty in hopes of blocking the launch.  Cassini was not a money-making operation so we ignored the loons. Asteroid mining will be another thing all together.  Everyone will want their cut.  With the UN in charge we’re going to feel like the probed subjects in this Kids in Hall video.